Breaking Dawn... WTF???

I devoured the Twilight trilogy, feeling every emotion Bella did, seeing Edward through her eyes, basically living and breathing the character, even when she became a bit whiny in Eclipse.  

So I rushed down to C and borrowed Breaking Dawn - what will happen what will happen what will happen - all the way home.

What did happen? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??

I kept having to check the cover, Yes it has been written by Stephanie Meyer, Yes it is the fourth book of the Twilight Saga...

I hated it, it made me want to scrub my skin with a wire brush.  When I think of it, even now, I feel the bile rising.  

After consumating a silly marraige (that went against everything we knew about Bella) in a stupid fairytale honeymoon location, Bella becomes a "Regan McNeill" crossed with "Ellen Ripley" in this ridiculous story.  She vomits blood, has an alien baby breaking her bones from the inside out and generally had me in bits trying to think of ways to stop Kristin Stewart ruining her career by starring in it.  The logistics of that whole episode made me so embarrassed that I was even reading it.  Vampires, according to the first three books, were void of any bodily functions, or fluids... WTF Meyer? She literally LOST THE PLOT! 

A movie of it would be like The Evil Dead 2.

Edward, our hero, the character who has taken over from Mr Darcy as every womans ideal man, becomes a wishy washy sidekick to Bellas stupid and ridiculous new Vampire self.  Holes abound galore, Meyer didn't feel the need for any conflict, of the inner or outer kind, Bella adjusts to her new being without any problems at all, as does her previously devoted father, and there isn't even a blinkin fight to get our pulses racing.  

Oh I hated it, won't be allowing my daughter read it as I found it akin to weird alien erotic fiction at times, and I wish wish wish Meyer would write it again properly.  She let me down, she let her characters down... She let herself down and it made me wonder did she ever really know what people loved about Twilight? It was the perfect reflection of teenage love that inspired us all... not the vampires and expensive cars.  

Silly silly Stephanie Meyer.